Welcome
Hello and welcome to my blog full of nothingness. But there's still something for those who care about what's going through my mind. It may be a little bit too emo to some, but please bear with me, all right? I promise I won't be that emo... ;p.


The Girl
I'm currently doing my Diploma in Mass Communication in KDU (PJ). I'm Catholic, and I love Japanese animation and music. As for who I am, a lot of people have different views on this. I could be a bitch to some, and an angel to others. But regardless, I love you all (whether you want to believe me or not).


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Friends
Mel
Vicky
Shan
Anup
Aaron
My Anime Blog
My Music Blog

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GaijinSmash.net
Random Curiosity
Chibi Yuuto's CHRoNiCLES


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Past
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Layout

Title: Written in the Stars
Featuring: Raven from RR Project
Lines: Ewan ko. Lol.
Made by: Miss Misfit
Coded by: Miss Misfit
Image by: Ravenskar
Used: Adobe Photoshop CS2
Created: June 10, 2006
Released: June 11, 2006
Colors: yellow, green, brown?
Credits: 1 2 3 4 5



Thursday, April 27, 2006

Tomorrow

Is it any wonder why I'm scared?
If I was a little younger would I care?
Feeling like the walls are growing stronger
I don't know if this cage can hold me any longer

So many times, there will always be something to bring me down and make me hate my existence again. It hurts that the people whom I trust in college are treating me so badly.

My problem is that I can't push them away no matter how much I try. I'm too nice... I hate myself for it. I want to tell these people off. I want to tell them how I feel. That they hurt me, and I know very well that they're using me.

But... I can't. In the end, I bend to their will...

You never dreamed you'd have to live your life so guarded
Cause they'll find a way to make you feel discarded

It was because of this I broke down so badly last year. It was because of this and many other things in my life I wished so hard that I didn't exist. Do people really want to use me that badly? Don't the people in college see me as someone else? Why is it no matter how much I try, I still end up being the one used?

Don't they realize what they're doing to me?

I'm not afraid of tomorrow
I'm only scared of myself
Feels like my insides are on fire
And I'm looking through the eyes of someone else

I'm so tired of crying selfish tears. Tears that fall because I'm pathetic, I'm sad, I'm insecure. I don't want to waste my tears on people who don't appreciate my existence. But no matter how much I try, the pain is still there.

And yet even though it's so obvious that these people hurt me, they carry on pushing me to the limit.

How much more can I take?

I never thought they'd want me to go even faster
INever thought I took my foot off the gas
Everybody loves to be in on the pressure
But I know they're all waiting for the crash

Stop making me wish I wasn't alive! God didn't give me this life so that I can wish it never existed! Stop making me believe that my existence has no meaning! My existance does have meaning to other people!

So please... just stop hurting me.

You never dreamed you had to live your life so guarded
Cause they'll find a way to make you feel discarded
Things have changed you've become a complication
You can't make it through another day's humiliation

Everything will be ok. I know it will. So stop making me believe that things won't change. It will! I just need the courage to stand up for myself. To tell you how I feel... the pain you've caused me. Maybe then you'll leave me alone. Maybe then you'll hate me.

Maybe then the past will stop haunting me.

I'm not afraid of tomorrow
I'm only scared of myself
Feels like my insides are all on fire
And I'm looking through the eyes of someone else

(Song "Tomorrow" by SR-71)

Needed to let that out. And for those who constantly comment on my blog, these aren't directed at you. ^^ I love you lots.

Take care and God bless!

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