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Friday, August 20, 2004

Mienai hoshi

I'm a little exhausted know... a lot of things can happen. One moment, you're on top of the world... and the next, heheh...

Watch how life pulls you down into it's dark insides as is swallows you whole until you cannot breathe and death seems like a great option.

Or not. Jeez, coward.

Okay, okay I'll stop it. Can't help it. Really can't. Must get another blog for me to complain, so that you guys will visit it only when you're prepared. Heheh.

Life never asked you what you want
It's just gonna have it's way
Sometimes it doesn't give like it takes...
~Jessica Simpson, 'I have loved you'~

Well, I really am glad that the people around me are happy. Very, very happy. It kinda makes me feel better, that at least someone cared I existed...

But if only that feeling could just last...

Anyway, holidays are here!!!!! Gonna study (if possible) and try to make a difference in my life (re-edit that, I will study...). After all, the only way I can change my life is by getting those grades.

You guys have fun. Some of you deserve it.

God bless.

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Monday, August 16, 2004

Fallen

Heaven Bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I tried my best
But somewhere long the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
But the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so

We all begin out with good intent
When love is raw and young
We believe that we can change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I've held so dear

Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so lowI messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so

Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to these I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one wrong step one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem away to be redeemed

Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so

~by Sarah MacLachlan, "Fallen"~

Err.. let me put it this way. The lyrics of this song sums up everything that I've been feeling lately. Hope you all could relate to it.

God bless.

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Sunday, August 15, 2004

Haru yo... Amaki haru...

There's a sort of anger hanging in the air. A silent war, not only agains the people around you, but also coming from the emotions stirring in you.

The need to be free is ringing strong, but the responsibilities if life chain you down. There's a need to stand up to who you are, but the past trails you like a shadow. The time to know who you are is near, and it becomes something you dread.

I'm not crazy or anything. Just concerned. There's a lot that's going to happen, yet a lot that might not. What happens today, might affect tomorrow.

Am I boring/scaring you? Gomen ne.

Chloe, her mom and her American aunt has finally left. Britney and her family will leave soon. What can I say? Good riddance? Lol... nah, only maybe 'Just as well'. Going out to all sorts of places kinda pulls you down. Especially since I'm tormented by the thoughts of exams everytime I go. Kya... life can be worse than expected.

But last night was sorta special. I went to Hard Rock Cafe as my dad thought I was sorta of age to go. So I went in there and was greeted by loud music. Maybe it's because I ate a lot lately and I had a lot of energy to burn, or maybe it's because I love the music, or maybe that I was stressed, or maybe cause Chloe's American aunt was also eager to do it, but I couldn't help but start dancing on the dancefloor.

But unlike the others who would occasionally go back for a drink, I was practically dancing for two hours. It was just... fun, you could say. Plus, I'm pretty much well prepared for the Dinner & Dance (which might not happen, jeez, my church is weird).

Thus, my aunts have named me Dancing Queen.

The Dancing Queen wishes you God bless and have a great week.

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