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Thursday, January 27, 2005

Shinjitsu

The world
At times
Is too complicated for me
To understand.
I thought
I knew
All there was
And then
The unexpected happens
Pulling me back
Into that hole
I fought hard
Not to enter.

Open your eyes
Feel the pain
And let the truth
The painful truth
Set you free
And walk again
On that pathway
Leading you
Into the unexpected
Of which you call
Life.


What do you think? This was what I sent to my Writing & Referencing lecturer, Mr. Nick (Hey guys, his name is also Nicholas Lee! Who does not remember Mr. Foul mouth?!). Yes, I wrote this and I wrote this a few days before passing it up.

Mr. Nick said the breaks I put on the first stanza worked really well in emphasizing my meaning (although not exactly so in the second stanza). But he did say that the beginning and end worked very well together...

Besides my structure, I found this poem too dramatic in my standards (but then again, I was always dramatic to begin with). And too plain, like I've heard this cry so many times before that it's starting to sound like that irritating ring in the ear.

I hate getting worked up over stupid things.

And I hate it when I'm forced to grow up too quickly. It's like before I can truly breathe, the clenches of reality start holding my throat and would not let me go until I do things 'its' way. Damn, I miss being a kid...

Hmm... I'm trying to think of some good news for you guys so you wouldn't get so worked up about my dramatic post that I refuse to delete.

I'm alive...

Cheers and God bless!

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