Welcome
Hello and welcome to my blog full of nothingness. But there's still something for those who care about what's going through my mind. It may be a little bit too emo to some, but please bear with me, all right? I promise I won't be that emo... ;p.


The Girl
I'm currently doing my Diploma in Mass Communication in KDU (PJ). I'm Catholic, and I love Japanese animation and music. As for who I am, a lot of people have different views on this. I could be a bitch to some, and an angel to others. But regardless, I love you all (whether you want to believe me or not).


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Friends
Mel
Vicky
Shan
Anup
Aaron
My Anime Blog
My Music Blog

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GaijinSmash.net
Random Curiosity
Chibi Yuuto's CHRoNiCLES


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Layout

Title: Written in the Stars
Featuring: Raven from RR Project
Lines: Ewan ko. Lol.
Made by: Miss Misfit
Coded by: Miss Misfit
Image by: Ravenskar
Used: Adobe Photoshop CS2
Created: June 10, 2006
Released: June 11, 2006
Colors: yellow, green, brown?
Credits: 1 2 3 4 5



Monday, February 27, 2006

How far can one stretch before they snap?

Is being too nice bad? I have a feeling that I'm being too nice lately... and that people are stepping on my head again. Especially in college, but it isn't just there. I feel like it's slowly spreading...

I don't know what to do sometimes. I really do like being nice to people, but I don't want it to be a reason for people to start using me. I get angry, but I'll always swallow my words and keep it in. I've learnt the act of ignorance... but I don't think I can ignore the anger that's boiling within me. And the confusion.

I'm so frustrated... I don't know if I can keep it up any longer. Any more of this and all my kindness that I've always loved to shower might just be an act. I don't want that... but what can I do? I want to stand up for myself. I want people to stop using me.

But what can I do when I always succumb to that little tug in my heart that says, "Be nice"?

Lord, I don't know what to do. I'm so tired... You always said to help out those who are in need. But I don't think I can take anymore. Am I wrong for being angry? Am I being selfish? Am I selfish? Please, help me...

Phew... needed to get that out. It's been a horrid week for me but it's really not that bad. Really! Ok, I'm lying but I'm trying my best not to let it get to me.

I know a lot of you are angry at me for filling this blog with nothing but my complaints and rants and such. I'm angry at myself too. But I'm so sick of lying. I'm so sick of ignoring the anger within me. And for what? So that I can please others... that's all I'm ever good at. Pleasing others... no wonder I'm so depressed and angry all the time.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for that. But it's somewhat the truth... not somewhat, it's really true. And I don't care if you'll look down on me after this... I'm not writing in here to please everyone. I'm writing in here to pour my heart out. And that's what I'm doing right now.

So I'm sorry if you think I'm a stupid emo. I'm sorry if you think I'm looking for attention with my depression. I'm sorry if I'm hurting anyone by what I said. I still love you guys, no matter what.

But please... give me back my freedom to write in this blog. I'm not here for comments, I'm here to blog.

Take care and God bless.

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