Thursday, September 22, 2005

Shinjitsu wa ne...

Wow... posting more than once a week! Something really must be up with me. >.<

Just as I expected, I decided not to let my anger get to me and I took a 360 degree turn and decided to talk to that friend of mine. I can't avoid her forever. And though she didn't know that I was avoiding her, I could tell she was quite happy that I'm talking to her again.

Yesterday we had a special class for Radio Productions where we're taught how to edit sounds using Adobe Audition (I am sooo getting this, do you hear me?? This program is so wonderful!!! It'll definitely help me for my music blog! ^^).

So while I got hold and understood this program easily, my friend struggled to understand what the guy in front was saying. So I sat next to her (we were in the computer lab and were seperated) and began to explain. Although she couldn't understand what the heck I was saying, she merely shook her head and said, "You're so good at this, you know that?"

I merely laughed and said, "Nah, I guess it's because I used to make music videos so it's kinda similiar to this one."

"You're really good at this. You're so good with computers."

I got a little exasperated. "Not everything! Look, this program is quite simple."

"Simple? [laughs] To you, of course-lah! You're just so good at this."

"Stop saying that! You can be good too!"

She then looks at me and says, "No, Michelle. When it comes to this, I don't think I can be as good as you."

Now I know most of you are thinking right now what the heck is up with this conversation other than it showing how I have a thing for computers? >.>

Well, it's just that I had this thought in my head that said something like, "If you like all these kind of computer programs and such, why the heck are you in mass com?"

I know it's kinda too late to think of it but I guess one does have to wonder. I'm not really an 'A' student in mass com and there are times when I stretch myself thin working on it which might mean nothing in the end. So I guess I'm now starting to wonder whether I'm on the right path.

But no worries, guys, a big part of me still says I'm on the right path. I'm not sure if taking computer programming and such would bring me anywhere even though I do have a fair interest in it, but I do believe that mass com will bring me somewhere.

I mean, I know about Adobe Audition thanks to Radio. And I'm going to learn about Adobe Photoshop after my mid term exams thanks to Photography.

I guess I am following parts of my dreams after all. ^^

May you all follow your dreams! Take care and God bless! ^^

ps. Happy Birthday Daddy! (Hugs her dad)

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Wow... just wow. I never really realised this, but...

Is it me? Or does the pain seem to be spreading to all of us? >.<

Anyway, I'm sorry for being such an idiot in the last post. It just gets tough as each day passes. But I realise that I shouldn't complain because... nya... there are other people out there who're going through much worse than me. So why should my pain matter?

It'll heal. I know it will. But when?

And just like how each day seems to be a dream/nightmare, please wake me up when September ends. Cause I hope by then the pain would disappear.

In the meantime... (goes on her message boards as a mean of escape)

Take care and God bless. ^^

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Sunday, September 18, 2005

Kibou wo shinjirarenai

Can't believe the amount of mess I just got myself into.

But before that thank you so much for your well wishes. No surgery for me, thank you very much. Just tons of pills to help with the swelling and lots of my mom's nagging. Lol!!! ^^

These days just seem to pass by me, even though a lot has happened.

For one thing, my only friend in college has decided to dump me to be with another group in advertising. I mean, ok, fine... leave me with a bunch of useless people. I don't care...

But then she had to dump me to join them as well in tutorials and workshops. Something that was a little hard to take in. All her talk about wanting to be with me this term was all crap now that she decided to be with another group cause they seem to be so creative.

Even her talk about her worrying about me since I'm left with a bunch of famous "will-never-be-there-when-you-need-them" seems all fake now that she's gone to be with them. It's just so hard to take it in since I trusted her.

But I guess I'm an idiot for trusting her in the beginning.

Then I just had to screw up in my photography. I forgot that the theme was "portrait" and I ended up taking landscape. It was hard to see my lecturer toss away 3/4 of the photos that I took and criticized my photos. But what hurts me the most was that she didn't look at those photos that she tossed away. At least tell me if my landscape photos was ok... but she didn't even bother to look at them.

I'm always tired. I'm always sleepy. I'm always unmotivated and I'm always at the verge of crying almost everyday. It just gets hard with the thought that this term might just be the end of me.

But hey, I'll be ok. It just takes some time of getting used to... and a lot of hardwork.

Wish me luck.

Take care and God bless.

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