Monday, August 22, 2005
Sagashimono ga aruSo after my crazy posts, here's another one. Been doing some surveys and tests here and there for the heck of it. Makes me feel better in a way...
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---Basics---
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FIRST NAME: Michelle
MIDDLE NAME: Jean
LAST NAME: Brohier
NICKNAMES: Chelle, Mich (sigh, some still call me this), Cherry tiger, Cherry, CT, Michiru (I just love this nickname one of my online friends call me after finding out my real name. ^^)
GENDER: Female
ADDRESS: I think it's safer if I do not answer that. Hah!
AGE: Going to be 18. Soon.
GRADE: College student.
LIVING SITUATION: Living with my parents and younger sis.
SIBLINGS: One sister. Didn't I just mention?
NAMES: Natasha
AGES: 17. Well, soon. ^^
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---Appearance---
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HEIGHT: 172 cm... last time I checked. I'm sure I didn't grow any taller since...
HAIR COLOR: Black, and I just streaked it with brown. Mwahahah!
HAIR STYLE: Slightly wavy, layered...
HAIR LENGTH: Neck length
EYE COLOR: Black
EYEGLASSES OR CONTACTS: I use my glasses only when I need them.
FRECKLES: None
STYLE: Eh? Simple... if... I'm seeing this right. >.<
RIGHTY/LEFTY: Righty
SHOE SIZE: Like it matters with the different brands using different measuring. Outrage, I tell you, outrage! (Doesn't like shopping for shoes, heh. ^^)
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---Favorites---
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COLOR: It depends on my mood but it's usually either red, blue or yellow.
RELATIVE: Lots and lots and lots of relatives. Practically grew up surrounded by my father;s side. I love them loads, even my mother's side. I just love my family.
TV SHOW: Besides anime, I do watch Desperate Housewives and an occasional Korean series.
CD: Still Not Getting Any by Simple Plan.
MOVIE: Mean Girls
COMMERCIAL: Once in a while. I like to evaluate them ever since I started mass com. ^^
SONG: Parade by Garbage
BAND OR GROUP: Simple Plan, Chevelle
FOOD: All sorts of food! Oh you can add pizza but I like a lot of other stuff like fried rice and chocolate! Mwahahah! @.@
ANIMAL!: Kitties! And the occassional doggies... ^^
SCHOOL SUBJECT: English Literature and Math. Gosh, how I miss those subjects...
GIRL NAME: Em... Michelle?
BOY NAME: Em... Michael? (*ROTFLMHO*)
FEELING: Tired, drained but satisfied. ^^
ICE CREAM: Chocolate and vanilla.
VACATION PLACE: Funny, I'm thinking of the Phillipines... I miss my family there! Oh, but I wouldn't mind Japan. ^^ If only it wasn't so freaking expensive... Lol!!!
MUSIC: Alternative Rock (though I'm fine with most genres of rock, this is my fav), J-Pop, (I also have a thing for anime openings and endings), sometimes pop and an occasional country music. ^^
STORE: AnimeTech. Mwahahah! Kinokuniya, MPH, Tower Records and SunComic (though I rarely go here, I love it! ^^)
TV STATION: 8TV and TV3. Darn my limitations... Lol!!
NUMBER: 10 and 5
SODA: Not really my thing... but I do like Pepsi Twist. ^^
GUM: Wrigley's. Bwahahahaha!
WEATHER: Windy.
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---Do you...---
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GET MOTION SICKNESS?: Yes. >.<
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: Besides "jiggling" my legs which, I remember, use to bother everyone? I think so... it's just that it's such a habit, I don't consider it a habit. It's a part of me... mwahahaha!
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: Kinda... actually yes. It's just that I tend to get moody and piss them and myself once in a while.
SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?: Er... no not really. Though I used to have this pillow with a bear on the head. But I threw it off the bed too much... must be my dreams. >.<
LIKE TO DRIVE?: Yeah... just hate to park. And I hate traffic with horrible people on the road.
TYPE WITH FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?: Never have.
DRINK?: No.
SMOKE?: No.
ANY OTHER DRUGS?: No.
KNOW ANYONE WHO DRINKS UNDERAGE: No.
~SMOKES: Yes.
~DOES DRUGS: Used to.
~LOST THEIR VIRIGINITY: Lol! The funny thing is that it could be a rumour...
~WORSHIPS THE DEVIL: Erm... it's not worship. Just some form of admiration. (Fidgets) She's still nice though... ^^
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---Have you---
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BROKEN THE LAW: Does downloading illegally count here? >.<
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: Lots! When I was young and had a knack for adventure. Lol! Though I will admit, I had the thought.
EVER CHEATED ON A TEST: Kinda. But it was just one question and I needed to know the spelling that's all. Tore a piece of paper, asked, passed, got it back and wrote it down. Just one querstion! Oh, and I was Standard 5 and never got caugh. Mwahahah!
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: I don't think so. >.<
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: Yes. Cause our school sucked.
PEED IN THE SHOWER/BATH: >.<
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: Lol! Nope. But it would be interesting... but cold. Lol!!
~ IN CLASS: Yes. Not famous for it but I do sleep occasionally.
GONE TO CHURCH: Go every week.
READ THE BIBLE: Yes.
BEEN IN A FIGHT?: What sort of fight?
STAYED HOME ON THE WEEKENDS?: Yeah... why not?
BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL: Yes.
~IN A SCHOOL PLAY: No. Been in a Sunday School play. Does that count?
WENT SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN: Yes.
CRIED IN PUBLIC: If I did, it was probably when I was in Primary. Got bullied then...
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: Yes.
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---Which is better?---
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HUGGING OR KISSING: I like hugs more. Probably cause I like giving it out and it doesn't have to be obscene. Lol!!!
MUD WRESTLING OR JELLO WRESTLING: Jello. Hey, at least you can eat it off. ^^
WHITE MILK OR CHOCOLATE MILK: Chocolate milk.
DEAFNESS OR BLINDNESS: Neither really... but if I had no choice, blindness.
SANDALS OR SHOES: Both. Shoes for walking a lot and sandals for casual walking.
PEPSI OR COKE: Pepsi
CD OR TAPE: CD
RAIN, SUN OR SNOW: Rain (Never experienced snow... >.<)
PEN OR PENCIL: Pen
VANILLIA OR CHOCOLATE: Vanilla with tons of chocolate syrup dipped on top! (Yeah, it's cheating. Mwahahah!)
BLACK OR WHITE: Black.
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---When/what was the last...---
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THING YOU PURCHASED: Seventeen Magazine. Yes, I'm slowly liking it. ^^
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: Love Story in Harvard A new korean series.
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER:? Batman Begins.
TIME YOU WERE GROUNDED: A long time ago. Back in Form 3. Things were pretty hard for me at that time and my parents weren't making it easier.
WORDS YOU SAID: "Daddy!!!" My dad came home late and he said he went disco-ing. Thus my reply... ^^
WORDS YOU TYPED: ... ^^ (?? Lol!!!)
PHONE NUMBER YOU CALLED: My Aunt Vanessa's number.
PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE: Lizamey. (A Lifeline friend! ^^)
THING YOU ATE: Fried rice with fried fish. And I helped cook. Lol!!!
THING YOU DRANK: Water.
SONG YOU HEARD: Never Ever by Ayumi Hamasaki
PERSON YOU SAW: My dad.
PERSON YOU HUGGED: Yasmin. A college friend! ^^
PERSON WHO SENT AN IM: Afham. And I suspect I scared him off thanks to this blog. Lol!!!
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER: None. Except my Monash magazine that I subscribe to... Lol!
YOU GOT E-MAIL: More junk mail.
TIME YOU CRIED: Yesterday.
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---Love---
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BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: None.
DO YOU LOVE HIM OR HER?: (points towards her previous answer)
VIRGINITY EXISTANT: Yes.
WHO WAS YOUR FIRST CRUSH?: Some guy in Standard 6. I was 12 and stupid... Mwahahaha!!
CURRENT CRUSH: None.
BEEN HURT?: Yes.
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: Not making the best out of my life.
WHAT WOULD YOUR DREAM DATE BE LIKE?: Just being with that person and knowing that that person is having a good time is good enough for me. ^^
HAD/HAVE AN ONLINE RELATIONSHIP: By relationship you include friends right? Then yes. ^^
HAVE YOU EVER SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?: Yes, of course!
CHEATED ON SOMEONE: Yes, and I will never do it ever, ever, ever, again!
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---Random---
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ROLLERCOASTERS -DEADLY OR EXCITING?: Deadly. You couldn't pay me to go on one of those things.
WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED AND IMPORTANT POSSESSION?: Gosh, there's so many things. But they're mostly material possesions like animes, CDs, books and such...
WHEN YOU WAKE UP, YOU: Think. Be it random or planning/evaluating the day...
YOUR MOUSE PAD HAS ON IT: Money. Lol! I'm not kidding! It's a mousepad full of banknotes with different currencies. Lol!!
WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?: Besides a giant pic of a scenery, some dust, a lamp, fan and such?
WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?: Pajamas. And sometimes just a t-shirt with shorts.
THINKING OF RIGHT NOW: Doing multiple things.
WHAT DO YOU DO THAT REALLY PISSES OFF YOUR FRIENDS?: My dramatic and depressing moments. Most of them have gotten used to it, really... ^^
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: Kinda. But it's a forced thing and I'm not getting paid. Except for those special jobs...
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?: Gah. Yellow... but most likely dark blue.
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: Anime, manga, internet, music, family, friends and God.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET? Ryan Cabrera. If that's possible. But it's most likely I'll purchase anime.
WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU WANT?: I don't know. In all honesty, I could care less what kind it is... >.<
DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF ATTRACTIVE?: No.
DO OTHERS?: Lol! Well, they say yes but it's their opinion. And this is mine. ^^
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---Your thoughts on...---
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ABORTION: Against it. Ok, I'm not all out on lecturing people to stop abortion, but if people want my advice, I'd say no. Even if it's rape, incest... it's still a life.
TEENAGE SMOKING: Like abortion, I'm against it but I won't go lecturing about it. People who do it think it's cool and it's an anti-stress thing. Clearly they're misinformed... still, I'll give my full support to those trying to stop. God bless.
EATING DISORDERS: I feel sorry for them and hope they learn to love themselves as the way God made them to be.
RAP: It's ok... but not my sorta thing. ^^
MASTURBATION: No comment.
PMS: Mwahahaha! ^^
DREAMS: Interesting...
TRUE LOVE: It exists... ^^
WORSE FEELING IN THE WORLD: Hating yourself and feeling so alone and dejected... Bah. ^^
SPICE GIRLS: Wow, it's been so long since I've heard anything from them. Even their old songs...
RAPE: Jerks who allows their penis to control their brains.
SUICIDE: Stupid, but seeing as I've thought of it, it's a really powerful thing. People out there should know that not all of them are attention seekers yet they desperately need attention.
SELF-MUTILATION: Like suicide, I see it as a desperate act.
Fear me. Mwahahahah!
You Are a Visionary Soul |
 You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul |
| Your Hidden Talent |
 You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel. People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation. When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers. |
Gah. >.<
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Michelle
2. Chelle
3. Mich
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Cherry tiger
2. Typical Gurl
3. Michiru (Thanks to an online friend... Lol!!)
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Whacked
2. Laughs too much
3. Tall (Mwahahahah!)
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Easily insecure
2. Procrastinator
3. Heitant
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Spanish
2. Portugese
3. German (These are the only ones I can think of. Bah. >.<)
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Bugs
2. Failing (in every aspect)
3. God
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Computer
2. Music
3. Food
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Shirt
2. Shorts
3. You hentai!
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists[at the moment]):
1. Simple Plan
2. Asian Kung Fu Generation
3. Minagawa Junko (Long live Ryoma from PoT and his lovely bedroom voice!)
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Parade from Garbage
2. Kohaku no Yurikago, 1st ending of the anime Rave
3. Unite! from Ayumi Hamasaki
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Make a website
2. More anime!
3. Cosplaying
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Understanding
2. Honesty
3. Trust
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Personality
2. Face
3. Appearance/ the way they carry themselves
SAME ABOUT THE SAME SEX:
1. Personality
2. Face
3. Appearance/ the way they carry themselves
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Drawing.
2. Sports.
3. Anything that involves my hands (crafts, cooking, etc.)
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. The computer. ^^
2. Writing.
3. Anime!!
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Pray
2. Sleep
3. Forgive
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Writing
2. Something to do with music videos (be it real life or animation)
3. Charity work. Eh... not a career? Teacher then. It's charity in a way... ^^
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Japan
2. America
3. Europe. Too big? Bah. Anywhere in it. ^^
THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. James
2. Joshua
3. Jeremy (And for the heck of it I'll add Jean, They're all my baby cousins. ^^)
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Accomplish one of my goals
2. Watch every anime in existence? Lol!!!
3. Find happiness
God bless! | Ame agari
Believing in nothing
Makes life so boring
So let's pray for something
To feel good in the morning
~"Parade" - Garbage~
I'm not sure how many of you commented on my last post. I don't know... I didn't check. I hope no one did.
I'm ok right now. Really, much better than the time that I posted. It was a phase that's been happening a lot and now I've found ways to get over it.
Maybe it's because I wrote my feelings down in this blog that later I started to feel much better for myself. It wasn't exactly a burden lifted, but another door opened and I walked right through it. So this is the outcome...
In which I'm much calmer, and yes, much more contented.
Music's been the only thing that's been keeping me company a lot to nurse me back to my usual self. So I have that to thank.
I'll be ok. I'll be all right. No worries. I know what I'm doing... at least I think I do. And I have God to thank for actually keeping me from grabbing a knife and stabbing it at my heart. Lol!!! Yes, I had that vision in my mind as I cried. It was really crazy... but I'm ok. Thank God... I'm ok.
Bah... I should stop writing this bullshit on my blog. This is the last time, guys. This shit will soon go in my written diary. >.<
Take care and God bless. ^^ |
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Nande... dooshita no... kono watashi?Something is seriously wrong with me.
Lately, I've been having sudden urges to burst out crying. And though I'd like to say that I've got a reason to feel that way... I feel like my reasons are more of excuses to escape from reality and start blaming everything on myself.
Yes, I am in big trouble. Cause I can't understand what the heck is wrong with me.
It happened last night as I was just about to drift to sleep, when I suddenly had this urge to cry. So I cried... softly cause my sister was sleeping in my room at that time cause my grandfather was around.
And then it had to happen in Church as well, which was the worst cause I was lector for that day and was sitting way at the front where Father OC could see me clearly. It just happened... and as tears filled my eyes slowly, threatening to pour, I suck in my breath, looked away and forced them back in. Throughout half of the mass, those tears just kept coming back but luckily, I kept them in. Until finally, it stopped and I felt this awful calmness... it was actually numbing.
Right now as I type this, I don't really have the urge to cry... but I want to cause the pain in my heart is getting unbearable. What's wrong with me? Why am I feeling this way? I want it to stop! Please just stop!
Now I'm worrying you guys... I beg of you, do not worry about me. I do not wish for words of encouragement... I am fine! I just need time... time to assess what the heck is wrong with me. I want to say it's a phase but I realise that this feeling has popped up a couple of times during my time in college...
I fear that I've fallen into my insecurities again.
Again, I beg of all of you... do not worry about me. Neither do I ask for your prayers. Instead, pray for yourselves. Pray that what I'm going through doesn't happen to you guys as well.
Be strong. I love you all.
Take care and God bless. |
