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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Whatever the reason

The reason why I'm forgetting important days more and more
Is because I can't seem to treasure a day that passes

The reason why I'm forgetting people's names more and more
Is because I never truly regarded them into my life

The reason why I can't take beautiful compliments directed to me
Is because I've never really complimented myself

The reason why I always degrade myself
Is because I never really forgave myself

The reason why I didn't die that day
Lies in the hands of the One who created me

The reason why I'm still alive today
Is by the direction of the One who truly loves me

The reason why I can smile and laugh today
Is because there are people who love me

The reason why I continue to strive for tomorrow
Is because of belief, faith and most importantly...

Love.


To all those who still think I'm depressed, I'm not going to lie that I'm much better. But I have to admit, that even though I'm pretty down lately I make it a point not to let it get to me.

Now it's sad that I can't express my sadness and depression on this blog because people think I really should be happy. Thank you for your concern... but I realise that there's too many things troubling me for it to be easily solved by eating chocolates or taking long hot showers or laughing over jokes.

I'm sensitive to pain, especially those that won't go away. But I am trying my best. I do want to get better. I fell so badly last year, so don't expect me to heal so quickly. I'm still struggling, but I'm striving.

I will break, but I'll merely sigh and pull myself back again.

Everything will be all right. Everything will be ok.

I love you all. Take care and God bless.

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The world watched me fall

I don't think I can blog the way I used to. Not like I had a particular pattern whenever I blogged... but now, everytime I sit down and try to think of what to blog, I can't come up with anything.

There are a lot of things going through my mind, but they've become so nonchalant to me that I never thought it worth talking about. How much can one say before they end up being repeated?

My life may be interesting to some, but to me it really doesn't mean much. At least... not yet. I have a lot to learn, a lot to understand and I'm doing my best in growing up and moving on.

But I'm not there. Not just yet.

Where's there exactly, I'm not sure... I've always believed that my life is a road, in which I may stumble and fall, in which there will be dark skies and storms, but it's leading me somewhere. And I want to believe that it is a place which I can finally call home... Back into the Lord's arms.

Life's too complicated right now. Lol! And this song is making me emotional... it's called Fields of Hope and it's from an anime called 'Gundam Seed Destiny'. The video may not make sense to most of you (it's an anime about war in the future and all) but I highly suggest listening to the song.



Lyrics for Fields of Hope

In the mean time, let me try to make sense on what's going on around me. ^^;;

Take care and God bless!

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