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Friday, February 28, 2003

Now a change of topic

There'll be school replacements on certain Saturdays that leaves me less times to go online. Plus I'm going to miss my CCS :'( Well, I'm going to miss one (I desperately want to watch) episode, either than that I'm fine. But I'm sure many are going to ponteng, but I can't! (one of the bad things of living in a house near a school)

Heh heh, last Monday I walked to Subang Parade again. I found out from my dad, the distance is 6 km, so I've walked 12 km!!!!!! But I have a CCS soundtrack and another 2 episodes of the 3rd season. Worth it? Does the pain in my thigh count?

Pn. Vasantha, my history teache made us 'tarik telinga' 50 times (50 times!) because I passed up my book late, so for three days I've been suffering. A 12 km walk and 50 times of 'Ketuk Ketampi' is NOT a good combination.

Life is not so great, but thank God for the distractions.

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I'm still struggling to accept Al found my words beautiful in my last blog :p I thought I was ranting crap as usual (this time remembering not to add any CCS in it) Well, don't accept this one to be beautiful cause I feel like crap at this moment.

I am not taking this new change well. This change where somehow I feel stuck between two worlds and unable to move. Or is it I don't want to move for fear that there'll be more change and I'd hate it more and more? Simple answer. Don't move. Or just...fidget a little, see what it does. Will it affect anyone?

When I had friends when I was thirteen I once thanked God that he gave me another chance. For three lonely years I was made to believe I had someone when inside I knew I was alone. In which this sad, distant look on my face whenever I ponder is a 'scar' God left behind to remind me of what happened to me long ago and do I want it to continue. I don't. But whenever I look in the mirror and see the same look I had five years ago, I keep thinking "Are those friends of yours really worth this???"

And I answer myself Yes.

Anyway I'll never be alone anymore. I have my tears and my bitter, bitter memories to accompany me now.

I believe I am slowly making my blog a little depressing. I can't help it since last week. At least rereading this it reminds me of a few things for me to think about, not caring what others think.

As Al said, my blog, my choice.

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